I heard we made out
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
