a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize