I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
