I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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