Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
