i'm signing you up for texting rehab
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
