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I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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