Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize
