i was born a porn star she said
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
