theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
