Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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