But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
