I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Two words: blizzard sex
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
