ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
