she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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