it wasn't lemon gatorade
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
