I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
