dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
