I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I have surprise drugs for everyone
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
