did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
