he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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