i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
