I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
