Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
