how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
