well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize