Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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