Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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