Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize