Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We're too hungover to prance.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize