I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
cat food counts as protein by the way
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize