please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
