Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
