Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
