got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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