Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize