Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
