one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize