my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
soo... how was my night?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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