so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
okay pat passed out under dana's car
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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