I wanna passion pit in your ass
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
