UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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