I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
