Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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