Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize