used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
