People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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