dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
