I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
