I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
