Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
