I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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