I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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