no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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