Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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