I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
