If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
