New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize