You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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