good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
