Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
