Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
