butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My friends, they love my intelligence
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
