i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
