I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize