He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
