Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
