She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
