I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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