i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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