Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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