actually, I'm a sock model
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
