He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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