I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
