yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I need a burrito and a hug.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
