walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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