I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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