Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
