It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize