he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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