I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
